Well, it's official... but it's really not all that bad.

Minutes before I had to leave for a lunch-time meeting yesterday, Dave called me. He just wanted to appologise for the delay but they have finally made a choice regarding the drug safety job. He explained that they had a hard time deciding but in the end they offered it to Robyn (whom I know through my program, class of 2006) and she has accepted. It all boiled down to the fact that she had the most experience working with our company's Global clinical safety group and that would greatly benefit the drug safety position.

So how do I feel about this? I guess it nets out to feeling nothing.

The Good: On the one hand I am not surprised and in fact as soon as I heard that Robyn was being interviewed for the same position, I pretty much knew she would be offered the job. I am also going through one of those "good" phases of working in Regs. The project is picking up again and I'm feeling valuable once more. Also, I kind of applied to this job in a bit of a flurry so I didn't really take the time to evaluate the job itself, just what the job would bring me... I never thought I'd enjoy the job based on the description given, so for me this falls into the "every closed door may be a great stroke of luck!" category.

The Bad: On the other hand, a permanent position would have been a huge load off my shoulders - especially with all the expenses that we are enduring with the wedding. Additionally, there is the benefits factor. Now that I've gotten my raise, the salaries will be essentially the same, however with the drug safety job I would have had medical and dental benefits, as well as vacation. *sigh*

The Ugly: I also feel a twinge of jealousy towards Robyn because although I don't know her, I know of her, and had the job gone to someone else entirely I could have fabricated an elaborate rationalization about how they must have been supremely more qualified than I. As it stands, she's got the same Masters degree but is a year behind me. So she was just better than me. Period. Boo. (It does make me feel better however to know that out of 11 applicants they only chose to interview 4, so at least I made that cut.)

As soon as my boss got the update on my situation, she wasted no time in sending this out to the team:

Hi all,

I'm happy to inform you that Jen will be continuing in her current capacity, supporting the Top Secret plan into next year. I'm sure you'll agree that her support has been invaluable, and having her continue in 2006 will help to ensure our sustained success as we move forward and complete this project.

Boss.

Yep. So everything has come full circle. Though I guess you could look at it this way: I ended up a bit further than when I started b/c the best way to get a raise is to look for another job. So true.