The biggest train wreck known to man

I woke up this morning having lost 2 lbs since yesterday. I can only attribute this to all the garbage that I spewed out in my interview with Dave yesterday. He must think I am the biggest idiot. I am truly truly embarrassed.

I don't know what it is about him that makes me so nervous. The very first question he asked me should have been simple, but instead like the freak show that I am, I started answering before I had thought about what I wanted to say (even though I had practiced this very question the night before). Then I stuttered. Then I think I apologized for being so nervous. He said it was normal to be nervous but I shouldn't have to be. Then I said that I've been told that I need to stop and think before I start answering questions because I tend to ramble in interviews. WTF? It was so classically "was that my outside voice? shit." Then I started and stopped my answer again a few more times. All the meanwhile he was writing down everything I was saying. Ugh. I think the interview got better from then on... but the damage was already done. We finished after about 45 mins so he told me I could head straight to the next meeting with Wilda and Dana and he'd let them know that I was on my way there.

So I got to the room (Dave had verified it was the correct one before I left his office) but there was another meeting going on so I sat on the couch outside and waited. Eventually the meeting let out, indicating it was 3:00. No sign of Wilda or anyone introducing themselves as Dana. I wasn't sure if I should be in the room when they arrived or waiting outside, so I tried a bit of both. Still no sign. And no watch on my wrist. Eventually I went in and looked at the time on the phone - 3:15. This was not good. I decided not to be even more stupid than I had already proved an hour ago and called Wilda to see what was up. Her phone forwarded immediately to her voicemail. My only option was to then call Dana, whom I've never met nor talked to. It turns out they were both in Dana's office (2 doors down from Dave) hoping to catch me coming out of Dave's office. Well obviously that didn't happen. Finally they showed up in the interview room and we had a good chuckle about how I thought they were just trying to prolong my agony by making me wait.

I think the 2nd interview went well. Wilda and Dana, unlike Dave, are very warm and friendly. They seemed genuinely interested in what I was saying. It was very relaxed. They actually asked all the same questions that Dave asked. I'm sure if they compare notes afterwards they will assume that they interviewed 2 totally different people. We took almost the full hour because we got to chatting about all sorts of things like the M.Biotech program and other stuff. It was kind of awkward at the end b/c they had no more questions, I had no more questions, but we were still talking and they made no move to get up so I wasn't sure if I was supposed to excuse myself or what. They stayed behind to regroup afterwards (hence not getting up) so I hope I wasn't outstaying my welcome. Anyways, it was a pretty good interview overall.

Then I headed straight to Kiran's office to vent about what a complete disaster my first interview was. She made me feel better though by saying that very few people in the dept actually listen to or respect Dave, despite him being the director and that it was actually Wilda and Dana that I'd be working for/with. She said that if they team up to pick the same person, they will be able to outvote Dave. I don't know. I don't have such a great feeling about the whole thing.

In fact... if I do end up getting offered this job, that could only mean that the other candidates were even more socially retarded than I was.